BXBX NOVEL Chapter 306 Florida Man Prevents Customers from Entering Shopping Mall by Exposing the Smell of His Balls
Chapter 306 Florida Man Prevents Customers from Entering Shopping Mall by Exposing the Smell of His Balls
?Chapter 306 – Florida Man Prevents Customers from Entering Shopping Mall by Exposing the Smell of His Balls
Early morning, merchants and rogue cultivators woke up early and visited Leo\'s domain as usual. They aimed to gather in the mall\'s second or third floor to cultivate free yang Qi or electric element Qi.
However, the shopping mall was totally different from before.
First, the physical appearance of the shopping mall seemed larger and taller. Glass windows, signboards, and cement exterior were replaced with seamless white metal as if they were the hull of a large warship.
On top of the building, a tall condominium replaced the sky elevator. The previously iconic sky continent, aka the Mystic Realm Platform, vanished from the sky along with the glass elevator.
And lastly, the front entrance automatic glass doors were changed into a metal gate of a nuclear bunker.
The crowd gazed at the gate in confusion, wondering why Leo changed his shopping mall\'s exterior design overnight.
RUMBLE
At 8 AM, the bunker gates automatically opened, pushing outward and revealing a massive hallway.
The cultivators rushed in, racing to get their cultivation spots. However, when they got inside, they were surprised yet again.
The walls, floor, and ceiling were all made of metal. Only brightly lit LED lights under the ceiling illuminated the dark hallway. In addition, the crowd came across a sealed gate of an airlock room ahead.
There was a large signboard.
.
Airlock Room
1. This room can only accommodate 50 adults at a time.
2. After entering this room, stay clear of the gate as it will automatically shut.
3. The airlock room will adjust the air pressure. Do not panic or cause a commotion when the air pressure changes.
4. When the air pressure adjustment has been completed, another door will open. Then, you can enter the Shopping Complex.
5. Allow everybody from the airlock room to leave first so that the traffic flow will not be interrupted.
6. DO NOT LINGER IN THE AIRLOCK ROOM! LEAVE WHEN THE DOOR IS OPEN!
.
"What\'s this for?" One of them read the instructions and was confused.
The others were also clueless. They stared at the giant gate in front of them as if they tried to comprehend a secret text behind the word [Airlock].
As people crowded in front of the airlock gate, visitors outside the shopping complex could not get in. They started making a commotion.
"HEY! STOP BLOCKING THE WAY! WE WANT TO GET IN!"
Being pressured by the people outside, the cultivators inside started scouring for a method to get in. Several of them rushed to the sealed door and tried to pry it open.
Fortunately, one of the visitors was a smart and cultured man. Wu Buyi was among the crowd.
"Tsk. I thought I would get some quick fried chicken and pizzas. If I knew I would get stuck here, I would have cooked the leftovers at home. Anyway…"
Wu Buyi found a square button inside a transparent plastic cover. He flipped the cover open and pressed the button.
WHOOSH
The sealed door smoothly opened, revealing a chamber of airlock room. Chilling air flowed outside the building.
"What?!"
Although the crowd got used to the shopping mall\'s air conditioners, the wind contained thick yin and yang essence. They got caught off guard and accidentally inhaled several mouthfuls of Qi into their systems. As most of them were weak mortals under the nascent soul realm, their bodies couldn\'t withstand the pressure.
Hundreds of visitors collapsed on their knees and panted. Some of them rushed out of the building to get some fresh air outside.
As the air reached outside, more people fell victim to the overwhelming yin and yang Qi from the complex\'s air conditioners. Their faces reddened as their blood vessels bloated.
"NOOOO!!"
Everybody was in despair, afraid of Qi deviation or self-explosion. In desperation, they released their Qi to expel the excess energy in their bodies. Hot and cold Qi exited their bodies and were released outside, creating ripples in the air.
After releasing excess Qi from their bodies, their complexion got a bit better, but they weren\'t safe yet. Everybody sat cross-legged and meditated, digesting and circulating their Qi.
Meanwhile, nascent soul cultivators and Wu Buyi were unaffected by the simple wind. The latter snorted.
"Meh, it\'s just a few drops of yin and yang essence. What\'s the big deal?"
The remark made the injured cultivators flinch. They cursed in their minds.
\'A drop of essence is worth 100 years of cultivation, damn you!\'
\'This is the yin and yang essence we\'re talking about! Do you think it\'s easy to cultivate all five basic elements and unknown elements at the same time and maintain their harmony?! Do you think we can cultivate many elements like you?!\'
\'Damn it, Wu Buyi! We\'re not as blessed as you! Look at you, living in a house made by Lord Florida Man! If we got to live in the same house as you, my cultivation base would have surpassed yours!\'
Their red eyes glared at Wu Buyi.
As for the rude alchemist, he slipped his hand into his pants and scratched his balls. He sniffed it. Then, his expression turned ugly.
"Damn it! It stinks."
Wu Buyi looked around and found a cultivator who was busy meditating. He wiped his hand on the guy\'s sleeve and entered the building. As for the unlucky guy, he almost vomited blood as he had seen everything.
Only 30 people got inside the airlock room. Most of them were frequent visitors, whose cultivation bases surpassed the nascent soul level. One of them even had the opportunity to train in the time chamber with Hua Taixu, and his cultivation reached the pinnacle quasi-immortal stage.
After everybody passed through the gate, Wu Buyi walked toward a console panel near the wall and pressed on it.
As if Wu Buyi had done this before, he pressed on the console, which opened a hologram screen in front of him. It prompted Wu Buyi with a message.
[Sealing Room. Please stay clear of the door.]
Wu Buyi translated the text out loud, "Stay away from the door, people. It should automatically close soon."
WHOOSH
As soon as Wu Buyi said it, the door behind everybody was closed. Then, the wind blew through the ventilation holes in the ceiling, filling the room with more yin and yang essence.
This time, 20 nascent soul cultivators stopped moving. They shut their eyes and stood still, meditating and digesting the dense Qi.
They were suffocating. The essence in the air was too thick that they couldn\'t breathe properly.
Seven soul formation cultivators also struggled. They sweated profusely, but they managed to hold on. However, judging from their complexion, they were about to give in like the nascent soul cultivators as well.
The two soul transformation cultivators looked pale as well. Although they could move around, their mouths and throats were dry. Their instinct cried that they had to leave this place ASAP or they might fall into a similar state.
Meanwhile, the sole quasi-immortal realm cultivator and Wu Buyi were unaffected. They gazed at the struggling people.
Wu Buyi advised them, "Y\'all should wait in this room and wait for that gate to reopen. Once it does, leave."
The quasi-immortal cultivator gazed at Wu Buyi. He cupped his fist and politely asked him.
"Immortal Wu, do you know something about the changes? Why does this place suddenly emit stronger Qi than before?"
Wu Buyi shrugged, "I don\'t know the details. But judging from the transformation, Lord Florida Man must have upgraded his bases again. Don\'t be surprised if the shopping mall transforms into a world of deities."
"…I see. Thank you for the warning. I think I\'ll wait here and test my limits first."
"Suit yourself."
Wu Buyi glanced at the struggling cultivators and reread the instruction screens on the hologram. He pressed the [Open Exterior Door] to let the people out.
The same exit gate was opened again. Then, Wu Buyi ordered the people in the room.
"Leave while you still can. Also, tell everybody that nobody in the immortal realm should enter this place. The Qi inside is too hazardous for mortals."
His voice was crisp. Everybody outside the mall could also hear him.
The previous cultivators in the airlock room slowly dragged their feet outside while the people in the hallway suffered from another wave of thick yin and yang essence. They helped each other and dragged everybody outside.
One more quasi-immortal cultivator entered the airlock chamber. They turned around and looked at the leaving people in curiosity.
He was Tang San, a 19-year-old junior of the Tang Clan\'s branch which had just merged with the main Tang Clan\'s manor when Leo was away.
Tang San was 190cm tall, toned, and good-looking. His clothes were also unique as his robes looked like a coat on top of tight clothes. Unfortunately, his charm was inferior to Gao Yan because of his generic messy hairstyle and na?ve face.
"What happened here? Lord Wu, did you do that?"
Wu Buyi glanced at the young man and raised his eyebrows in astonishment. However, his expression reverted to normal instantly.
\'Meh, just another lucky youth. Quasi-immortals are cabbages these days. In my days, they were powerhouses. I bet they are inexperienced in real combat. Typical nerd cultivators.\'
Wu Buyi disregarded the man\'s talent and age. He nonchalantly answered.
"Lord Florida Man has upgraded his domain. It no longer supports mortals. Only immortals and probably quasi-
immortals like you can enter."
"I see!" Tang San was excited. "Actually, this is my first time visiting this place! I just moved in last month, and I was busy adjusting to the main house. Senior, can you recommend to me what I should be looking out for?"
"…WHAT DID YOU SAY?! FIRST TIME?!"
Wu Buyi and the quasi-immortal next to him stared at Tang San in shock.
There was a huge difference between frequent customers and new visitors. Newcomers tended to possess a lower cultivation base and weaker foundations. However, when the newcomers had a superior cultivation base than the locals, it told another story.
This guy didn\'t reach this stage by luck like the local cultivators!
This was a genuine heaven\'s chosen genius!
Wu Buyi couldn\'t contain his curiosity and excitement. He asked Tang San, "Who is your master?! How long have you been cultivating?! How old are you exactly!?"
"S-Senior, slow down!" Tang San dryly laughed. He coughed and decided not to tell Wu Buyi everything. "I don\'t have a master, actually. I self-taught myself."
The quasi-immortal next to Wu Buyi bellowed, "Bullshit! Even I relied on the Sword Saint\'s guidance that Time Chamber for a year before I broke the soul transformation stage\'s bottleneck! There\'s no way a brat like you can reach this far by yourself!"
Wu Buyi squinted his eyes and glanced at the elder. He raised his hand and stopped the guy.
"Let\'s not get overworked and pressure the kid, old man. Well, let me ask you one question at a time."
While interrogating the new guy, Wu Buyi shut the entrance door of the airlock room, trapping them inside the chamber. He delayed opening the interior door.
"What\'s your name?" Inquired Wu Buyi.
"Ah, I\'m Tang San, senior."
"From the Tang Clan?"
"Yes, I\'m from the subsidiary branch from the north. We migrate here because of the blizzard."
"…Strange."
Wu Buyi doubted the information as he knew what happened to the north. Leo and Esen often toured the northern region, but they never found any city or village there. Only ruins remained.
"Which city did you belong to?"
"My family lived in Xia Port, the north-most coast of the Yan Continent, senior."
"Huh?"
"Hahaha. It\'s not weird that you don\'t know. We\'re fishermen from the blizzard area. Nobody visits us anymore because of the extreme weather."
"…"
"Anyway, about my age, I\'m 19 this year. As for how long I have been cultivating… that\'s about the same as my age, I guess?"
Tang San pursed his lips and fidgeted as if he was trying to hide his lies.
The quasi-immortal next to Wu Buyi still didn\'t believe in Tang San. He wanted to squeeze for more information, but he was afraid of the alchemist.
Meanwhile, Wu Buyi inwardly laughed. He had a theory in his mind.
\'If I remember correctly, there\'s a trope in online novels I read. What was it? A master in a ring? A reincarnator? A regressor? A transmigrator from a higher realm possessing the frail body of a trashy young master? There\'s a lot of tropes that this guy fits in. Is he one of them?\'
Wu Buyi swept his gaze over Tang San\'s clothes. Then, he saw a plain rusty ring necklace on Tang San\'s neck.
\'Yup! A master in ring. I bet there\'s an entity inside giving this boy guidance. Man, they really exist.\'
He shook his head and gave up asking Tang San. He turned around and opened the interior door for the two.
Dense yin and yang Qi gushed into the airlock chamber. The quasi-immortal elder immediately sat down and meditated as he couldn\'t withstand the Qi pressure anymore. As for Tang San and Wu Buyi, they were unfazed.
Wu Buyi smirked.
"Well, Mr. Main Character. Would you like me to give you a tour?"
"Main character?" Tang San tilted his head.