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Chapter 94.1: Shatter, Scatter, Hate (10) Part 1

Quietly.

Ever so quietly.

Someone\'s consciousness falls into the gently rippling waves.

And sinks.

Down.

Down.

Until it reaches the bottom, where it can no longer sink.

And so, it is swallowed whole.

***

I had a nightmare.

A truly terrible nightmare.

It played out slowly, like an old videotape.

Fragmented scenes, scattered like shards of glass.

I watched from beyond the screen, my vision blurry.

-Click, whir...

The first scene of the tape begins in my flickering sight.

[Naru, watch out!]

[-Squeal, crash!!]

[M-Mom...?]

My mother died before my eyes.

She pushed me out of the way of an oncoming truck, her body crushed in my place.

Bright red blood splattered vividly at my feet.

-Click, whir...

The second scene plays immediately after.

[I\'m sorry, Naru... I have to... go somewhere far away...]

[It\'s not much of a parting gift, but... please take this.]

[Well then... Goodbye, Naru.]

The person I relied on most left my side.

He was caught up in a malicious incident because he tried to protect me, a boy trembling with loneliness.

In an instant, I lost everything.

He handed me a book bag and, with a sad look, turned his back on me and walked into the locker room.

-Click, rewind...

The screen flickers again, and the third scene continues.

[From today on, Ji-hye is gone.]

[What...?]

[She committed suicide... What a weak person.]

[Ji-hye, no...?]

The person I could have called my first love took her own life.

They say she jumped from the roof of a building not far from the Kendo Hall.

...This, too, was probably my fault.

-Click, whir...

The fourth scene plays.

[I don\'t understand.]

I was abandoned by my father, the entirety of my wretched life.

His gaze held not a shred of emotion.

He left me without hesitation.

His receding figure.

Looking at those fading footsteps, I decided to kill myself.

-Click, whir...

The player, rewinding the videotape, emits a jarring noise.

Soon, the fifth scene flashes before me.

This time, it was after I had signed a contract with the System after I had gotten my second chance.

[Mind your language.]

[Acting all high and mighty now? How pathetic.]

Even though I had done nothing wrong.

I was met with wariness, suspicion, and hatred from others.

Standing before their hostile gazes was an excruciatingly tiresome experience.

[How may I be of service, Young Master Lishite?]

[S-Stop...! Please, stop right there!]

After successfully thwarting the banquet hall attack.

I ran into Allen and the others on my way back to the dormitory.

The blond boy pointed his sword at me, his voice trembling with fear.

I felt a sense of emptiness.

-Click, whir...

The seventh scene.

[Eek...!]

[H-Hey, let\'s go...! Let\'s get out of here...!]

[Don\'t make eye contact...!]

Those people for whom I had risked my life to protect feared me.

The way they averted their gazes and quickly backed away.

Their whispers, brushing past my ears, drenched me further in a heavy feeling.

I think I was a little tired then.

-Click, whir...

The eighth scene.

[It\'s going to be alright.]

[You\'re doing well enough, student.]

[I know that student Raiden is trying harder than anyone else...]

I lost the person I relied on most in this life.

Looking at my master\'s name, now a cold memorial stone, I was overcome with the familiar sorrow of parting.

-Click, whir...

The ninth scene.

[Head Professor Lucas, who died in this school trip attack... Was it your doing, Young Master?]

[I asked if you killed him.]

I was misunderstood.

Misunderstood for murdering my master.

That day, for the first time, I felt the emotion of hatred.

-Click, whir...

The tape neared its end.

The last scene flickered like an afterimage on the screen, shrouded in a dark shadow.

[Bang, bang, bang!]

[Young Master Lishite!! Open this door right now!!!]

[What\'s going on...? B-But, the letter clearly said...]

[I thought the Saintess was in danger... What is the meaning of this...?]

I was misunderstood once again.

I drew my sword for someone.

I swung my sword until I was battered and bruised for someone.

Yet, what returned to me,

Was once again, only suspicion, wariness, and hatred.

[...Just how many times is this?]

[Just how many goddamn times... will that same fucking misunderstanding happen...?]

I was exhausted, mentally and physically.

My fatigue-laden lips poured out words, giving me no time to compose myself.

In the end,

I couldn\'t stop myself from collapsing.

[Ugh... H-Huh...]

[Ah... Aaaah...!!]

I crumble into a pathetic sob.

With the shriek of a single flower, my consciousness is cut off.

And so.

A long, long epic came to an end.

The spinning player stops, spitting out the old videotape.

The white tape, stained with dark red, falls to the floor.

A snuff film of misfortune, filled with nothing but blood and tears, that I never wanted to see again.

I stare at it lying at my feet and mutter.

It\'s a good thing.

That this is a dream.

That this is just a fragment of a short story shown by a dream.

If I pull myself together and open my closed eyelids, all these dark and sticky things will disappear.

Yeah, things as unfortunate as this.

Things as steeped in despair as this, couldn\'t possibly happen in reality.

It\'s all a dream, a dream.

I let out a sigh of relief in my gradually surfacing consciousness.

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