电车之狼系列

“I’m old now.” The emperor shook his head: “I know just how much weight I carry, my little skills can’t do much now. There are too many emperors in this world; the hundred races have some top ones too so I make no difference.”

Li Qiye shook his head: “You’re wrong there. I’m not telling you to go to the battlefield, it’s not something you want to do either.”

“Then what is it?” The old man asked.

“Mediation.” Li Qiye smiled deviously: “Just imagine, the emperors on both sides are ready to go all out with their sleeves rolled up. At that exact second, foul diarrhea rains down from the sky and makes the battlefield unbearable, even staining some of the emperors. Are they going to give fighting? No, they’ll just go back home for a shower and a change of clothes.”

“Your sister! You’re the one with diarrhea!” The old man angrily said.

“It’s just an example.” Li Qiye burst out laughing: “I’m saying that your accursed stench has a peerless power. You just need to fart on the battlefield and everyone will lose interest in fighting! Can’t you see? This is the best reason for you to continue living, for the peace of the tenth world, for the sake of the hundred races. I think it’s best if you live till the end of heaven and earth and fulfill your purpose.”

The old man stared skeptically at this guy who never cared about the mundane world and asked: “Did you get hit on the head?” [1]

“You’re the one that got hit on the head. Can’t you pick your words better?” Li Qiye kicked the old man mercilessly.

“I’ve lived all this time and know that the Dark Crow is not one for mediation nor a peacemaker.” The old man played nicer: “The Dark Crow kills wherever he goes, turning his surrounding into a bloody battlefield! You were the one who started Emperor Hunt, why do you want peace between the two sides now? Such a sudden change in attitude.”

“It shows how peace-loving I am.” Li Qiye smiled and said: “I was born to bring peace and prosperity to the inhabitants of this world. Fighting and killing and fighting and more killing are only things on the surface.”

The old man scoffed after hearing this with skepticism: “If the Dark Crow wants peace, then the high heaven can go ****.” [2]

“Don’t make it sound like I’m a devil king or a bloodthirsty murderer.” Li Qiye said with a smile.

“Not that much different.” The old man said: “There probably isn’t anyone who had killed more emperors than you.”

“Alright, fine, a devil king it is.” Li Qiye shrugged in response: “Darkness will come after the light. I am benevolent and hope to leave behind some sparks that could illuminate the path forward for the hundred races. Of course, if some people are stubborn and suicidal enough, we’ll have no choice but to wipe them out.”

“Not interested.” The old man refused: “The world’s wellbeing has nothing to do with me, same with the prosperity of its inhabitants and the light versus darkness. I’m only someone waiting for death.”

Li Qiye expected this type of response: “I guess dying earlier will actually be better for someone like you.”

The old man remained calm like the unmoving water in a well.

“Is there anything that you still care about in this world? That you can’t give up?” Li Qiye eventually asked with a serious expression.

“None.” The old man calmly answered with no ripple in his emotion.

“What about your children, your lovers in the nine and tenth world, the place where you belong?” Li Qiye continued.

The old man replied: “There is only one thing I care about - when I will die.”

“That’s a bit difficult for you.” Li Qiye commented.

“I know. The greatest tragedy in life is not being able to die even when you want to.” The old man said.

“Death is not scary, it can be a form of salvation. Yes, your situation is torturous indeed.” Li Qiye gently nodded.

He was immortal and had experienced countless disasters and pain. Death wasn’t always the worst fate possible.

The old man stopped talking while holding his pan. Even the heaven and earth couldn’t mess with a cursed character like him. All existences would stay away due to sheer hatred.

Suicide wasn’t an option either. He could only live on and hope for solace in death one day.

Li Qiye gently sighed and said: “Looks like you really have taken this path to the extreme or even broke through it. Nothing in this world matters to you, I didn’t expect this.”

“It’s understandable, no one had ever reached this level of condemnation before. Even the high heaven doesn’t want to get involved.” The old man said nonchalantly.

“An execution never came for you?” This was Li Qiye’s second reason to come here.

“I want that old villainous heaven to send down an execution but I haven’t seen one yet. After taking this path, there was no trace of it.” The old man replied.

“Can’t tell if this is a happy thing or a tragedy.” Li Qiye smiled wryly.

It was quite unbelievable for an Immortal Emperor to not invoke a Heavenly Execution. All the emperors were apprehensive about this particular tribulation because even the strongest emperor couldn’t survive. The moment the execution came, so did the reaper.

Without it, it meant that the emperors could walk freely in the world. Thus, any other emperor yearned for its absence in order to have freedom.

However, this old man didn’t find this to be a good thing at all. If an execution came, he would finally find eternal reprieve.

Alas, he had been staying in the mundane realm for generations now without seeing one so he had no choice but to keep living on.

“If there is nothing else, you should leave now. I need a nap to rest or hunger shall ravage me at night.” The old man calmly said.

“Fine.” Li Qiye acquiesced: “So be it, despite the fruitless visit, I still hope that you will be able to die soon.”

Hoping for someone else to die might provoke them but this was the best type of blessing one could say to this old man.

The old man nodded and climbed up his bed before closing his tired eyes.

Li Qiye gently sighed while staring at this old man on the old wooden bed. Who would think that this was an invincible Immortal Emperor?

“Your Excellency.” The old man suddenly opened his eyes and said before Li Qiye made it out of the door.

“What can I do for you?” Li Qiye turned and replied.

The old man took out a yellow page from the corner of his bed. Wrinkled and decayed it was; who knows how many times it had been rolled up?

“I don’t have any interest in this world but sometimes, I can’t help but want to see the high heaven and the end of the world. Suddenly, I became enlightened with some thoughts and I wrote them down.” He gave the wrinkly paper to Li Qiye.

“Your Excellency had experienced so many ages and has no lack of merit laws. I only hope for these thoughts to be passed down. You can look at it if you want but if you don’t care for them, please find someone to pass them down or just store it.”

Li Qiye accepted it and fixed it up a bit before nodding solemnly: “I will think about it.”

The old man nodded back and said: “I am waiting for death so the darkness will be good for me since I might be able to die faster. However, I hope you can be successful at the final battle and return triumphantly. Only you will be able to do it, Your Excellency.”

“I hope so.” Li Qiye gently sighed and left.

The old man closed his eyes again and fell into a slumber. [3]

1. This particular line is interesting because of the different possible translations. The characters in question are 变性, change of personality/nature, to have a sex change, transgender. Basically, a broad range of potential meaning, depending on the context. The key here is to show surprise and translate it as a playful, slightly insulting quip that doesn’t match an emperor’s bearing. Some possible variations for: “Did your personality changed?” This one is the most literal but it lacks the punch. The sex change meaning of the characters is supposed to be humorous but there was no way of including it - “Did you get a sex change?” or “Are you a woman now?” This would be completely jarring; the latter being too offensive to fit. I went with the common English phrase that would be used colloquially for this type of situation, even though it deviates from the raw

2. Censored, no idea what this is.

3. The title was a bit hard to translate to English. The author borrows off the popular phrase from a poem that starts with "What is love..." but he replaces the word love with world/life. It doesn’t make too much sense in English